It’s funny how we see ourselves vs how others see us. The other day someone asked how they could be as confident as me and why I don’t get nervous when I present or speak to a larger number of people. I almost spat my food out when they said this.
You see…I have a secret. I’m actually a painfully shy person, have been all my life and confident…well I’m not really that either I don’t think. And if I’m extra honest, this is not because I don’t know why stuff, it’s as I’m embarrassed about my weight. There I said it.
Before I had my daughter, I was 15 kilograms lighter and writing this actually makes me cry, because I don’t know what happened. And this is 100% tied into my confidence. I miss being fit and strong and being able to wear clothes and feel great and I miss that!
At one of our events the other day we were having our photo taken and the woman taking it said to me to move a bit as I was half behind the banner. This was intentional. In my head if I hide behind the banner, it cuts half my fat off.
The reason I’m telling you this is because no matter how confident someone appears, they too have stuff going on in their head. And this is holding me back in business. I don’t want to put myself out there as I’m not feeling my best and in turn wont project myself the best.
I have made a decision, I am focusing on myself and my health and making it my priority. I am not focusing on my weight but rather making changes to my lifestyle and I know with that the weight thing will come. I am also realistic and know that I can’t exercise 6 days a week like a used to, I simply don’t have that luxury with two businesses and a 4 year old. But I do have a puppy that has to be walked every day (which I do anyway) and I am starting Pilates and will commit to exercise 3 days a week.
So, when you see me presenting at next months The Working Lunch, you know that confidence will be real. Until then, I will keep faking it until I make it. ?
We Are Emersyn uses an inclusive definition “female” and “women” and we welcome trans people, women, genderqueer women, and non-binary people who identify, have identified, or have been identified as female, women, or non-binary.